Fluently Sassy

I just had a revelation, rather, I just stopped lying to myself and owned up to the will God has for my life, to the person He created me to be. As a college student I have been battling what in the world I am going to do with my life! Frustrating, exhausting, and stressful would be the words to describe this process. Of course, it would have been much easier if I had just accepted who God created me to be. But no, I had to go through the battle of "I want to make lots of money. No, I want to be a missionary. Yuck, I would not enjoy being a missionary, I want to be a teacher. No, I want to make lots of money. No I don't. Ugh!" I have been afraid to own up to the person I was created to be because I was scared and did not want to hold myself to those standards. It is quite amusing that I have such a hard time trusting God, the creator of the UNIVERSE. He has brought me through so many things. He has blessed me abundantly. He has provided for me, and gotten me to where

Well it is 12:24 am on Easter morning, and I am back on all electronic-ways-of-making-ourselves-feel-important-cool-and-heard. I have discovered a few things while being “away” (and unfortunately one of those things was not better grammar), but I will refrain from telling you all of them because quite frankly I don’t feel like typing them all out, you probably don’t feel like reading them all, and I am tired. So let’s cut right to the chase shall we? The most important thing I have discovered through this fast, is that I have been ignoring God’s grace. I know, sounds awful and horrible, and it is just that. I have been in this state of mind for an extremely long time of always trying to earn my faith. Always trying to prove to myself that I am worthy enough to have God’s grace, always trying to prove to  others  that I deserve it. Whether it is trying to earn it through what I do, through what major I choose, through what I post to Facebook, through what I say to others, I have be

I am absolutely astounded by God’s grace. Seriously….ASTOUNDED. I am such a sinner, such a dreadful awful person. I open my mouth when I shouldn’t, and refuse to open my mouth when I SHOULD. I am lazy. I don’t read my Bible nearly as much as I should. I suck, basically. I am rude to those around me. I am annoying and loud. I am impatient. I don’t always think things all the way through. I am just this horrible, awful, gross little sinner, it’s disgusting.  Even after all that, after all the stupid things I say and do, God still loves me. After mistreating people, after giving Him the silent treatment,  He still WANTS me. He still yearns so deeply in His heart to talk to me, be in relationship with me, and love me with His everlasting and steadfast love.  God wants to be in relationship with us so badly. Thankfully He made it so easy to be in relationship with Him by sending His only Son down to this earth to die for our sins. Now of course, accepting Him is the easy part, but

I am supposed to be writing a paper on the history of the Russian Economy. But obviously I would MUCH rather talk about Jesus….I mean come one, let’s be real here.  I have been working my way through the book of Genesis these past couple of weeks, and have been absolutely astounded by who God is. The book of Genesis has 38,000 words, and is packed full of stories about waiting for God’s plan and redemption. I mean seriously there are stories about sacrificing, the inability to have children, death, murder, moving, marriage, incest, animals….EVERYTHING. I love it. The story of Joseph has really been on my heart. We are all probably familiar with it…but here is the jist: Joseph had some really jealous brothers, who first off wanted to kill him, but then decided to sell him to some Egyptians as a slave. Joseph, by the grace of God, grew to be Potiphar’s favorite and was put in charge of his entire household. Potiphar’s wife was constantly after Joseph, and one day took his robe and c

Now that I have that song in your head, I bet you can guess what God has put on my heart! As anyone who knows me will tell you, I tend to lack faith, and put God in a box. I limit what God can do in my life by not believing in who He is, and not believing in how incredibly powerful He is….I lack faith…BIG time. This past week I have been reading Abrahams story. As many of you probably know it is one of the best examples of faith. First God calls Abraham to a foreign land, and tells Him his descendants will suffer for 400 years (my times might not be exact). Abraham’s wife Sarah is unable to have children, but God promises that He will give them a son, and at the ripe old age of ninety-something (?) Sara gives birth to Isaac. What a miracle! Then God calls Abraham to go and sacrifice Isaac, his one and only true son. SAY WHAT?!?!? As you all know, he does what God wants him to do, the DAY after God asks him to do it, he didn’t waste any time, he had IMMEDIATE OBEDIENCE. After tiein

It is so easy to get caught up in where we want to go, that is where God wants us to go. God has repeatedly been telling me, to  be still, and know that He is God.  To just BE. To live in the present, and to do what He has for me here, and now. We don’t need to worry about our future, God has got it covered. Judah Smith was talking about how often times as Christians we focus on learning from the past, and changing the future, instead of just being  present where we are, and focusing on that. It says in Genesis that God spoke, and the world was created. That is how HUGE He is. All He said was, “Let there be light!” and there was! I say this a lot (because it absolutely blows my mind): if God created this world, He can lead me, guide me, and plan for me. If He created this world, He can sure change it.  A verse that always reminds me of how little I am and how good God is, is Ephesians 3:20 “God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request i

We all have these amazing stories, and amazing convictions. God shows us certain things, puts certain things on our hearts, and puts certain people in our lives for a reason.  How come 90% of the time we don’t do anything about it, or we do it half-heartedly saying “Ok God, I am doing this just so I can check it off my list and get on with my life”?! Isn’t that just like slapping God in the face? We get on our hands and knees and ask God to do things, to bring certain issues to our attention, to give us something we can be passionate about and be remembered for, but then we only do it half way? Or we don’t do it at all? We ask Him to show us where to go, and what to get involved with, and then we say no, we just slap God in the face. If we all did what God called us to do, if we all listened, and obeyed, we could do so much. I want to do something BIG. I want to CHANGE THE WORLD. God wants us to change the world. He wants us to follow through with our God given talents and pas

I am continuously being distracted by God’s amazing grace and love. I sit down to do my homework, and a certain song comes on, or I get some marvelous idea that I just have to right down…goodness gracious!  It is incredible to me how He reminds me that He loves me, how He teaches me, how He leads me. Whether it is through a person, what someone says, a song I stumble across, a verse I read, or my amazing ability to keep falling into sin.  My question to you is this: Some people say they can’t see God work in their lives, they look around the world and see despair and starvation. They say they can’t hear God, or that it isn’t worth trying. I think the problem is that sometimes we don’t have the eyes to see what God is doing, what He has done, and what He will do. Or we simply refuse to see it. We need to pray to see the world through God’s eyes, to hear the cries of the world through God’s ears.  I encourage you to let God in. Just let Him in. You don’t have to do anything, b

I am now a freshman in college! How exciting and scary is that!?! The other day, my parents were dropping me off and helping me set my dorm room up. Later we went to Target, and I ordered a kids meal! Number one: who orders a kids meal at Target? Number two: I don’t think I have eaten a kids meal since I was nine.  It got me thinking, just like pretty much everything does….  When we are kids, we look up at the massive buildings, the giant semi-trucks, the millions of stars in the sky, and WE WANT TO CONQUER THE WORLD. The funny thing is, we think we  CAN  do just that. When we are children, our imaginations run wild, and we truly believe we can do and be whatever we want to be. We have so much faith. But once we are actually old enough to do something about our dreams,  we back down . Suddenly all the buildings don’t look so giant, and the semi-trucks aren’t anything special. We finally have the ability, and knowledge to possibly “conquer” the world and do whatever we want to,

The other day I was called a “typical Christian”, as well as “the most condescending Christian ever”. OUCH, I mean, MAJOR OUCH. It really got me thinking, actually it got me  brewing, simmering , BOILING,  I felt like a volcano just waiting to EXPLODE OVER EVERYTHING!!!!!!  But I decided to take it as a compliment, and here is why: I was trying to think about what a typical Christian looks like. Don’t get me wrong, there are many people out there that call themselves Christians, but don’t walk the walk whatsoever! There are many churches that are rude, condescending, judgmental, ignorant, cliquey, and intolerant, and I TOTALLY and completely acknowledge that. And I apologize for them, and for how they DO NOT live out the Gospel like “real Christians” are called to do.  BUT, there are also churches out there that are loving, accepting, forgiving, grace-filled, encouraging, friendly, and incredible. I should know, because I have been heavily involved in two of them.  If a ty

I was reading in Matthew this morning, and it was talking about how the last will be first and the first will be last. That in order to have life, we need to give up our own lives. That nothing else matters but our Heavenly Father’s approval.  Recently God has been reminding me that He has a great master plan. Nothing I can do is better than that plan, and if I get in that way of that plan….oh man…I better sleep with two eyes open.  NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in this world really matters. Not the clothes we wear, the house we live in, the school we go to, or what we are majoring in. All that matters is Jesus Christ, saving the lost, loving the lonely, and  DOING GOD’S WILL. I have also been reminded that God needs to always come first. ALWAYS. When God comes first, everything else just seems to fall into place. When you seek God’s will with all of your heart, He will guide you.  So, to prevent this blog from rambling on, and on, and on, which I am totally and completely capab

Today I went fishing. I know right, me? Fishing? But my Dad and I actually caught two fish! When we got home my Dad told me that what we did today is very biblical, and I was like WHAT? He reminded me that we are called to be fishers of men. Now, that seems like a pretty light phrase to use, but fishing takes a LONG time and a TON OF PATIENCE. You have to wait, and wait, and encourage, and bait. (hey! that rhymed!)  He mentioned that searching through the stream is a lot like life. A lot of times you don’t know where you are going, why the fish are REFUSING to come out and play,  why your hook keeps getting caught on every single BUSH,  why you are even there? You are thinking,  “Why am I standing in the freezing cold water, with my pants completely soaked, slipping everytime I take a step?” Meanwhile, what you can’t see beneath the shallow clear water is the little fish just waiting for the perfect time to eat the BIG, juicy, slimy worm off that hook. And then, all of

Those two words have come up in my life a lot lately. God must be trying to tell me something along the lines of: “Kendra, listen to me, I am  GOD , the creator of the universe, the creator of  YOU . I designed you for a purpose, I have a plan for your life.  DON’T YOU DARE  try and limit my power by your weak little human mind.  DON’T YOU DARE  try to put me in a box and use me as a consultant.  DON’T YOU DARE  lose faith in  ME , and in who I created you to be. Trust in me, I know what I am doing, for  I AM GOD . I know all the hairs on your head, all the species of animals, all the stars by name, I created everything you see, and everything you know. Kendra,  GET OUT OF MY WAY , believe in who I am, trust in who I am, let me do what I need to do, and F OLLOW ME WITH ALL OF YOUR HEART.  Don’t let anyone stop you, or tell you that you can’t do it.  REMEMBER WHO I AM ” Pretty intense. After reading through that it made me think of a book I read a little while back,  Forgotten God

I think that is what a lot of people expect or want when they first accept Christ into their hearts. They want immediate transformation, revival, and for everything to be  easier . They expect it to fix everything. While the Gospel does offer the promise of love, grace, peace, forgiveness, and blessings,  it also REQUIRES obedience, hard work, submission, and trials.  This morning I was thinking back on “my life” and realized just how much God has transformed my heart. Now, I was raised in a Christian home, my parent’s parents are Christian, it’s not a new thing to me. I grew up going to church, and learning about our AMAZING GOD. But it has taken me 18 years to submit enough to God, that He would be able to change my heart. **Isn’t it cool that we have free will? I LOVE that God has more than enough power to force His way into our hearts, but that He chooses not too.**  Now lets get this straight, I would NEVER have been where I am today, without all the trials I have faced: al